Dear me. Summing up...rich people betting on an annual event involving a couple of dozen bombpregnated blood-hungry assassins killing each other off. Each year The Tournmament takes place in a different exotic location, this year it's in....Middlesborough. This is so random it actually nearly endeared me to the film, (I mean....boro...why?) but the film itself is so utterly disabled by its massive duh levels that it just can't be let off the hook like some screaming brain-damaged albino stickleback. Seriously, this movie is so mongified it makes Crank f**king 2 look like Battleship Potempkin.
There's some mildly entertaining splattery ultraviolence and the main actress is quite attractive but if you have actually gone pubic you WILL spend more time rolling your eyes and muttering "f**k the f**k off" than deriving any actual enjoyment from the movie. Begbie from trainspotting is in it as well. He needs to glass his agent, and soon. I have plenty of time for low-IQ movies - loved Punisher Warzone - but this? Load a pish! I want..my stupid movies...to be stupid...in an intelligent way. This....is like Warwick Davis after a severe head injury, it's not big and it's not clever. I will give it a minor plus point for being set in Middlesborough though. That really is just strange. Otherwise utter gash. Highly recommended to pre-teen boys and simpletons though.
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