What's irish for "cannibalism"? It's never answered in this bleak and depressing Australian telling of Alexander Pearse and his fellow-convict-consuming ways in Tasmania in the early 19th century. Apparently he was convicted for the theft of six pairs of shoes....back then that didnt mean an asbo or a stern dressing down from your local garda, but deportation to Tasmania for labour, lice and probably a swift and unhygenic end. Pearse and a group of his fellow scurvy miscreants escape from their wardens and find themselves crossing a desaturated, muddy, never-ending jungle with no food, no hope and no chance of an idyllic retirement in zihuatanejo. It starts well....but after the more distinguishable characters are killed off early on it just degenerates into a random and slow procession of almost interchangeable beardy grot-bags bumping each other off in the mud. Interestingly a lot of the movie is actually in proper spoken irish, so if you fancy a really slow, not very exciting but admittedly beautifully shot version of Ravenous as gaelige ("LEABA"...that means bed)..then your dreams have come true. Having said that, if you DO dream about that, perhaps you need to talk to someone qualified. Don't bother with this, its beautiful but muddled and slow, like Megan Fox staggering out of a severe automobile accident. Ni maith liom.
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