Altered - "I come in peace"

"And you go in pieces, a*****!" Wise words there from Dolph Lungren in ropy 80's sci-fi Dark angel. And as always, Dolph Lungrens wise words are words of really...wise...wisdom. Because do I not like aliens. With the occasional exception like ALF or chewbacca most of them are c**ts who want to give us a kicking with superior technology, use us to incubate their parasitic young or gangprobe us mercilessly. With Altered the tables are turned on these star-spawned arseheads. A bunch of previously abducted hillbillies manage to capture an ET and are intent on some redneck payback, possibly involving blowtorches and heads-in-vices. Naturally things go badly...meddling police officers, excruciating spouses and flesh-eating alien diseases all conspire to make things go very definitely pear-shaped. Plus the alien is a sneaky and vicious bollix with vague telepathic powers and an inclination towards disembowelment.

This is a movie by one of the team responsible for Blair Witch but I wouldn't let that put you off...well, much. Its a decent enough little time filler, although the main alien-napping concept - while cool - doesnt really stretch over 90 minutes....its more like an extended mid-90's episode of the x-files with gore and bold language. F**king alien bastards!