KUNG FU FLID - small arms expert

Have you ever thought about how many midgets you could defeat, if an infinite amount of them poured down a narrow corridor where only one at a time could fight you? How about babies? Toddlers, infected by the rage virus? Of the former, I'm going to hazard a guess at about 5-6....some of them are pretty buff, and look like you could hurt yourself hitting them around the head. Toddlers I'm thinking more 80-90, before sheer fatigue and vague child-injury-related remorse would lower my Mighty Boot of Torment. And then they would swarm over me and devour me like a giant screaming farleys rusk.

What about...flids?

The answer....well for a start, a flid is apparently a derogatory term for "thalidomides" and if this movie is anything to go by...less than 1. Because "Barry"  is one mean thalidomide (or, "flid"). He would reach down your throat, rip out your pelvis and cave your skull in with it.

Or he would, if he could reach that far with his tiny little t-rex arms. You have seen this guy on telly before, always seems a bit understandably aggro about being dealt quite literally a bad hand by fate. If I had little chicken wings like him i would invest in a baggy jumper  You have to hand it to him...he has made a decent fist of his light-of-limb condition...the sheer rage (possibly) channeled by the inability to wipe his own bottom has manifested itself in a doublehard martial arts expert actor type guy...He's in a band as well. Fair play. In his position I'd probably just spend my life in a darkened room learning to masturbate with my feet and mourning my inability to wear long-sleeved shirts. This astoundingly ill-conceived movie however is just a generic shot-on-video el-cheapo slap-em-up/shouty "drama" with lots of naughty language, the only USP it has is that the lead looks like something out of Total Recall.

So be careful next time you're thinking about randomly attacking a disabled...they could end up handing you your arse...using their feet. So leave em alone eh, don't have a go just because they're different and hilarious.