So there's this island split between two warring Oirish clans, the O'Flynns and the Muldoons. Begorrah! There's clearly been aggro for generations and now the fact that the fir marbh are staggering around very slowly has divided the families further, one lot want to kill them all, the others want to keep the wormy revenants around and try to train them to eat pork instead of human. Some national guard stereotypes and a geeky teenager arrive on the island and get caught up in the paddy-on-paddy-on-zombie action. It's boring. It's clumsy. It's completely retardicated. One of the island zombies is galloping over the windswept hills on a horse like some monged ad for undead hair conditioner. There's about another 15 or so of the "deadheads" in a shed. That's your zombie count. "Epic" this aint.
The acting is awful (in fairness, Romero has never been exactly an actor's director, but whoa) dialogue hopeless, wacky mutating accents ahoy, there's nowhere near enough cannibalistic carnage (compare it to the 20-year old Day of the Dead and it looks remarkably tame) and its just....odd. What's George been smoking? Why has he made this? Those are my main questions. WHAT. WHY.
Seriously George don't make any more zombie movies you old bollix, you lost your undead mojo decades ago and now you just don't know what you're doing any more.
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