Ah look, a documentary about Reaper's favourite erogenous zone! Actually no, thankfully we'll never have to see that, this is a alleged "kids" movie by slightly twisted "Gremlins" director Joe Dante. I say alleged because if you showed this to an average child it will probably scar them irreversibly and reduce them to a twitching whimpering mess. I dont know which genius producer in Hollywood suddenly pulled his thumb out of his hole and said "you know what we f**king need? A creepy, english language surrealist hybrid of Cellar Dweller and Ringu, except for f**king kids!" but fair play to him as he obviously hates children. A single mum and her two sons (a) generic mardy teen knobhead and (b) younger, bowler-haircutted mccauly culkin clone who incidentally acts his big brother off the screen, move to a new house with a mysterious heavily bolted trapdoor in the cellar and some chirpy jailbait next door. So the door gets opened, and next thing they are up to their pubeless groins in ghost children and homicidal clown dolls.
The brothers have a pleasingly violent relationship, there's a minimum of cheese, there's some creepy moments and thankfully a lack of CGI. It has a real 80's feel. I liked it, but it loses its way in the last 20 minutes and the end is just...weak. Don't show it to your kids unless you want to spend years paying for therapy because they start screaming every time you drive past McDonalds.
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