Scott Pilgrim vs the World vs master gi-bag

I'm a child of the 80-90's computer game scene. Michael Cera will always have a page in my good book through the peerless Arrested Development. I quite enjoyed Spaced, Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz. Yet why does this self-referential, self-indulgent, annoyingly alt opus by Edgar Wright not light my candles? Oh yeah...for all those reasons. Apparently it's been a bit of a flop and it's quite easy to see why. There's one thing to have a movie that nonchalantly pays affectionate homage to old computer game tropes and 16-bit landmarks but this f**king thing is like watching someone else staring at some frowning emo knobhead playing with their nintendo while two italian plumbers rub their oily hands all over your body, a tiny blue hedgehog rapes your face and a tiny green elf thing with pointy ears rams a blunt looking sword down your urethra. It's just too much of everything. Its like, quirky, man.

I'm a demi-geek, but this movie made me feel insufferably superior and simultaneously joyless. I can see how it might click with easy-pleased obscure game-pop reference spotters out there, but when we have this avalanche of wanky computer game jizz splattered over a tedious teen romance centered on the eternally pre-pubic confused-avian-featured Cera and his tiresomely left-of-centre muse....the whole thing just hangs together like a down sydrome clown thats just fallen through a skylight into an electrified chandelier. It's messier than Reaper's underpants.

 It's bloody headache inducing, its way too long, it has a cheaply malleable narrative reality that treats the viewer like some kind of bizarre passive experimental test subject and I just fail to see what level it really works at....as comedy I think I got a handful of reluctant smirks, as an action adventure it's not fit to lick Kick-Asses homemade boots and as a teeny romance it's just plain interminable watching the gormless and one-note Scott pursuing his slap-provokingly emo amore.There's even a resident gay in there to drop in witty asides and dry oneliners but its feels like a filmaker just  f**king everything at the wall, overediting it mercilessly and hoping something will stick. It's a load of sound, color and just stuff signifying not a lot more than nothing and definitely one for the love it or hate it camp. Self-indulgent just doesnt cover it. I hope Michael Cera goes on to other things, he seems an amiably limited sort even if he now resembles a half-formed replicant version of Beck who will never be able to grow facial hair. Onward and upward George Michael Bluth, I'm still in your corner bro but you need to up your game yeah?