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Welcome to our Movies and Visual Media area. We shall try to keep up with the latest big screen and little screen antics, especially any related to games and stuff that is just... cool! WARNING! May not be suitable for under 16's

Monday, September 20, 2010

Burning Bright - HELLO KITTY


So you've gone down to the kitchen at 3am to get a sandwich. You shouldnt be eating f**king carbs at this hour anyway but there are more pressing matters.You turn on the light and what's in front of you, turning your bowels to freezing water? No, not a midget burglar masturbating into your italian cheese pasta, but a feckin great...tiger.

Is that scary? I'm not sure and thats probably one of the problems that Burning Bright has. Being trapped in your house during a storm with a massive hungry carnivore would probably be mildly fatal and generally unenjoyable but it's not really the stuff nightmares are made of. So this tiger, who - according to Meat "Remaining Men Together" Loaf - is a bollix of a tiger who once ate a horse, gets purchased by some cracker with deluded ideas about creating a safari in his back garden. A mighty storm descends and a tidy young lass and her young brother - who has a touch of the screaming rainmans and the regulation hollywood child bowler haircut - get locked into their house with the stripy malevolent feline. Technically, It's actually all done really well considering such a odd premise, but there's no real sense of menace and it's all very tame.


 The tiger growls a bit, eats through some doors and flails at our heroes in a dodgy after-effectsy way but meh. At least the house is massive, so we get a lot of running from room to room. Who'd get sick of that eh.

"Jeez you got a big pussy! Jeez you got a big pussy!"
"Why'd you say that twice?"
"I didnt! AAAAAAGH HELP A MASSIVE TIGER HAS GOT MY LEG"

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