Yes, its a couple of days late...I was ill, no kids were arsed to show their gormless faces at Casa del geebag so i was obliged to eat a kilo of year-old haribo myself. This made me very sick indeed. CURSE YOU GOLD BEARS. Enough of my aching oesophagus and ravaged colon, let's crack on.
Are you afraid of ghosts? I used to be...as a young man I was convinced the ghost of a down-syndrome toddler lived under my bed, coming out in the dead of night to chew my star wars figures' legs and leave a strange sticky ectoplasm all over my darth vader duvet. But as the years past I stopped believing in ghosts, and Star Wars, and as the movies I was watching became more and more deranged desensitisation set in and the most a "scary movie" could provoke in me was a dull, mild sense of discomfort and a vague appreciation of the cinematic sleight of hand involved in genuinely creepy movies. So it is with Paranormal Activity...lots of hype...but despite my initial apprehension, this movie definitely has...something. It could be the absolute suburban normality of the location and the general blandness/realistic irritability of the two leads, but yes...some people - and by people, I meant women - will find this very chilling indeed. I watched it alone in a darkened room with headphones on and it did provoke, somewhere in the withered dead pit of my consciousness, a mild sense of discomfort. But that's a recommendation of sorts. And, actually, its not even a ghost at the heart of this film, it's some kind of demon, and a c**t of one...it takes the piss and has a malevolent intelligence that make it far worse than some supernaturally confused disabled ghost children. Wait till it's out on dvd, and watch it alone, in an ancient sinister house, or possibly a disused asylum surrounded by decaying tramp cadavers, for the full impact.
"Creepshow" style anthology....its apparently been sat on a shelf unreleased for a couple of years and I'm not sure why...perfectly serviceable little horror, nothing special but a painless way to pass 90 mins or so. The stories are a mixed bag as you'd expect, but the sack-headed kid is freaky and it's got the annoying chick from True Blood in it.
I watched this after "watching" Transformers 2, which isnt really a movie you watch, its something you experience....but not a nice experience, like the first time you used minty shower gel on your freshly shaven nad jacket, but a bad one, like being raped by a screaming tractor for TWO AND A HALF F**KING HOURS. After than cgi-based molestation, Moon was like a quiet. mellowing balm on my fevered, haribo-and-transformers addled brain. It's a low-tech 70's style sci-fi drama about a man alone on a space station on, well duh, the moon. After a routine bit of maintenance goes badly wrong, he wakes up back at base, goes back outside to where the accident happened and finds....well to be honest, no point saying much else it would give some genuinely interesting plot points away. Dopplegangers and that. Intelligent and well acted, definite phillip k dick vibe. Recommended.
Alright, not a horror, but I loved Tony Jaa's previous beat em up Warrior King, it was a thoughful and intelligent character study involving Tony going around shouting "Where are my elephants??" and breaking people's limbs. Included the infamous
single take stairway sequence and a superb scene where a wrestler flings a elephant through a plate glass window. There are many more elephants in Ong-Bak2, but unfortunately none of them get thrown through windows, not actually sure what this has to do with the first Ong-Bak actually, its a pretty incomprehensible but enjoyably barmy and OTT medieval beatdown with a gibberish plot and head-scratching finale. Apparently Tony himself went a bit unsane during the filming and hid in the jungle for a few months, so the movie own schizophrenia itself could be a reflection of this apparent instability. Worth a watch though, the boy's got moves, and it looks spectacular.
Now if you'll excuse me i have to go to the toilet again
